Grateful

Tonight the kids went Trick-or-Treating. The evening was enjoyable, despite it being cold outside. Together the kids and I ended our night with hot chocolate from Tim Horton's. Since there is no school tomorrow, I let my children stay up later than usual. As I sit here alone, on this brown leather sectional that I saved up so long and hard for, I am reminded a little of my past.

Right now I'm wearing comfy new lounge gear from Victoria's Secret's, PINK sporty line. I've got my hoodie pulled up and my sweats are perfectly baggy and snug. I cringe as I hear a clicking sound, indicating that my heat is going to kick on once again. I'm cold so I welcome the warmth. What I am not welcoming so much is my Columbia Gas bill that I will be receiving shortly.

Not long ago I lived in subsidized (income based) housing. It wasn't the most ideal living arrangement but overall I can honestly say I enjoyed my stay there. I felt safe both during the day and at night. My car was never broken into, and most of my neighbors were relatively decent. Frequently, I was sought after to "lend-out" a roll of toilet paper here and there, a cup of sugar every other week, an occasional tampon, or measuring cup of dishwashing liquid. I didn't mind. I was away from home, usually at school, or one of my 3 jobs a majority of the time. I will admit, that sometimes it was tough for me to "lend a helping hand" to particular individuals who's lives consisted of smoking cigarettes, and drinking Mt. Dew all day while watching Divorce Court  on TV as their diaper donning infant wandered the parking lot unsupervised,...day after day.Nevertheless I faced a dilemma that I completely forgot all about until I heard the clicking sound I mentioned earlier. 

One of my neighbors, a single mom of three girls knocked on my door and asked to borrow $10. I remember, it was a Friday evening, and my children and I were getting in the car to leave for a church activity. Rarely did I ever "loan" out money. Truth be told, I didn't even have $10 on me, the only $30 that I did have was sitting in my checking account set aside as gas money. I apologized and went about my way, without thinking twice.

Upon returning from our activity, it was dark outside, muggy and hot, typical end of July weather. Through the front window of my neighbors house I noticed a faint glow. Closer up I realized that the glow was a candle flame. Trying not to be obvious I peered in the window, once again. I couldn't see much else but I heard my neighbors baby crying. I  unlocked the door to my place to get unloaded and settled in. I heard another knock at my front door.

It was the same neighbor from earlier asking if there was any way we could run an extension cord from my place to hers. Without making eye contact she stated that her electricity had been disconnected for non payment and she would appreciate electricity for a fan and one light. It was then that I noticed tears streaming down her cheeks. I then learned that all of the food in her refrigerator had spoiled, which is why she asked for money earlier to try and walk to McDonald's to get food for her children. I scoured through what little food I did have and I was able to scrounge up a few packets of Ramen noodle soup and 4 hot dogs. I also took over a pitcher of ice water. My other neighbor came over to help as well and offered the only thing she had (Mt Dew and cigarettes) which were graciously accepted by the mother.

Reminiscing back on this moment, I distinctly remember the feeling as if us "Welfare subjects", were isolated survivors on a dissolute island. Sharing all of what we had and showing compassion for each other on that hot summer evening was raw and genuine.  Attributes characterized perhaps by  nature, that just hadn't been tapped into so deeply before.

The rest of the story does not end in a very inspirational manner. The one night of "borrowing" my electricity turned into three nights, after which, this neighbor invited
more kids and adults to live with her, during this despairing ordeal  ...to be continued